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Have you ever felt like there’s so much more to life? That you’re waiting for your life to start? That was me.
And I’m so happy you are here. I want to start by sharing my story with you.
Growing up I had a lot of friends, I was smart and had a loving family, but deep down I always felt like I didn’t fit in. I remember thinking to myself that there was far more to life than this. I knew for sure I didn’t want a 9-5 job. I vividly remember having an embodied experience of feeling trapped in a cage and wanting to be set free. I just COULDN’T WAIT for my life to start.
When I was 16 I worked as an educator at lululemon and was a part of the community team, supporting local yoga and fitness studios in the area. One day I was called to the front of the store to meet a guest who was opening up a yoga studio. Before I even knew her name she hugged, kissed me and told me we had to be friends. Her name was Pauline Caballero and she soon became a pivotal part of my journey.
Pauline and Kinndli McCollum are the co-founders of Power Yoga Canada. I took classes week after week at the studio to support them. To tell you the truth, I’m not a “yoga person” and to this day yoga isn’t my workout of choice. But I kept showing up because it was part of my job at lululemon and because I developed a close friendship with Pauline and Kinndli.
One day, Pauline convinced me to sign up for what I thought was a yoga retreat in New York City. I called my best friend Pam and we were off. To our surprise it was a Level One Training in upstate New York. Let me be clear, this was the farthest thing from a yoga retreat in New York City. I was in my late teens, sitting in a yoga teacher training, not wanting anything to do with yoga or teaching. It was a long and intense 6 days to say the least. As we drove back to Toronto at the end of the training, I could sense something was different for me. I just couldn’t quite put my finger on it at the time.
Within a year I was offered the opportunity to be a co-owner of the very first Power Yoga Canada affiliate studio. I was in my final year of university and still didn’t like yoga, but one thing I knew was that I loved people and loved creating communities. I saw an opportunity to do just that. I said yes. There I was teaching the first class at my studio, reading the poses to a room full of people, everything felt right. My life had officially begun.
I’ve spent the last 10 years investing my whole life into yoga, literally. The community became an extension of my family and the practice became my life. I taught regularly, I’ve spent thousands of hours in the classroom training. Every training, every time I stepped on my yoga mat and every class I taught, I felt a shift and an unraveling of myself. Whenever I felt tired or burned out, I would ask myself, why am I doing this and what am I doing it for? I couldn’t articulate it into words, but I knew there was a reason and I was committed to not stopping until I figured it out.
One of my role models is my beautiful Aunty Diane. She was everything to me. My second mom, my biggest cheerleader, someone I would tell my deepest secrets and fears to and celebrate my proudest moments with. The day after my 29th birthday, I was standing on the street in NYC when I received the news that my Aunty Di’s cancer took a turn for the worse. I was heartbroken.
The next 6 months were some of the most difficult, yet proudest days of my life. I promised to be by her side through it all. The good days, hard days, scary days, sad days, special days – you name it, I was there. We meditated, journalled, soul searched, had beautiful conversations (as well as difficult conversations). We often cried hard, laughed harder, held hands, hugged, kissed, as we completed our pasts and created our futures.
On the evening of January 14, 2020 as I was laying beside my Aunty Di in her bed, she closed her eyes with a big beautiful smile and took her final breath here on earth. During this time of heartbreak and sadness, I had the strength and courage to be present with her, to hold her tight and tell her I loved her over and over as she transitioned to heaven. I finally realized the past 10 years of practicing yoga was to prepare me for this exact moment. The moment I discovered the life I was born to live.
I teach yoga to give the gift to someone that was the greatest gift to me.
And it all starts with child pose. I hope you’ll join me.
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